


Email

by Unsentimentalf



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-17
Updated: 2012-01-17
Packaged: 2017-10-29 17:26:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/322333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unsentimentalf/pseuds/Unsentimentalf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emails</p>
            </blockquote>





	Email

_030711 23:45 Red hair in the sister's vacuum cleaner?_  
030711 23:57 Is that you, Sherlock? You said this case was boring and you were busy.  
040711 18:10 No, there wasn't. Alibi bust, got a confession. Thanks

 

 _120711 23:51 Did security guard mention girlfriend?_  
120711 23:58 How did you know about guard? You wouldn't look at the papers this morning. Yes, he said they were going on holiday. Why?  
 _130711 00:04 Check assistant manager's Lloyd's deposit account._  
130711 00:06 OK. Why?  
130711 09:11 Money in account. Thanks

 

270711 18:03 Maybe you could look at this one?  
 _270711 23:17 Forward witness statements._  
270711 23:24 Attached. Thanks  
 _280711 03:42 Password is one of the names of Younger's business partner's pets. Probably a gerbil._  
280711 07:06 Thanks  
 _280711 22:09 Do stop being repetitive. A little more creativity in expression would make less tedious reading._  
280711 22:22 You're criticising my thank yous now?!?  
 _280711 22.23 And your punctuation. Having my eyeballs seared is hardly incentive to apply myself in future._  
280711 22:28 All right. I'm extremely grateful that you're allocating a little of your valuable time to my problems  
 _280711 22:29 I know._  
280711 22:31 Of course you do. You know everything and I'm going to bed

 

040811 17:36 Let me know what you think of this one  
050811 17:18 Or not  
050811 22:02 It would be rather easier if you could be bothered to tell me if you're not going to reply  
060811 01:33 Sorry. Lousy day

 

 _160811 23:46 I need a copy of the charge sheet for Jasons._  
170811 09:05 Document attached. Where was your coat yesterday?  
 _170811 22:58 Donovan was right. Suicide. Don't jump to conclusions. Wet._  
170811 23:00 Damn. OK. Wet how? It didn't rain  
 _170811 23:04 Water pistol._  
170811 23:07 Is that why John was looking so pleased with himself?  
 _170811 23:08 Yes._  
170811 23:12 Ha! Pass on my compliments  
 _170811 23:14 I have no intention of doing so._

 

 _010911 23:06 Brisbane file. There should be a blue sheet of lined paper with six numbers on. You drank too much whiskey last night._  
010911 23:15 Will look tomorrow. I'd had a bad day, if you must know  
 _010911 23:20 I did know. Unnecessary. There's nothing intrinsically inferior about living alone._  
010911 23:23 Easy for you to say. You've got John for company and whatever  
 _010911 23:25 Whatever? Fishing, Detective Inspector?_  
010911 23:38 None of my business  
 _010911 23:45 But since the answer appears to be significant to you, I can assure you that there is no "whatever" between myself and John Watson._  
020911 00:26 Does John know about this email address?  
 _020911 00:27 No. Goodnight, Inspector._  
030911 10:10 Six numbers 34,35,88,91,142,144  
 _030911 22:04 Numbers irrelevant_.  
030911 22:45 OK. You got any help for me then?  
 _030911 22:47 Not this time._

 

060911 18:06 Thanks for nothing. You could at least warn me when you're going to turn my office upside down!  
 _060911 21:59 It wasn't your office you were thinking about this afternoon. Not very professional, Detective Inspector._  
060911 22:01 Sod off. Not in the mood for games

 

 _180911 23:13 The man you had sex with last night stole your driving licence._  
180911 23:24 Bloody hell!  
180911 23:34 Yes he did. How the hell did you know?  
 _180911 23:35 Because he tried to sell it this morning. You'll find it in your in-tray tomorrow._  
180911 23:38 Shit. Thank you  
180911 23:57 I don't usually pick up strange men  
 _190911 00:01 Five times in the last eight weeks._  
190911 00:03 Been spying on me?  
 _190911 00:06 Observing. Your wife is going to find out that you're gay at some point in the near future. Restricting yourself to sleeping with strangers won't work for long._  
190911 00:09 Restricting myself? Hardly a great deal of opportunity to do otherwise  
 _190911 00:11 You're not paying attention._  
190911 00:13 What do you mean by that, Sherlock?  
190911 00:25 Sherlock?  
190911 00:34 I'm going to bed

 

230911 19:22 There's a case attached. I'm baffled. And I wish you wouldn't look through me like that when we're working  
 _230911 23:00 I don't need to look at you. Your appearance doesn't generally provide any useful data._  
230911 23:21 Yeah. Right.  
 _230911 23:26 One of your people is covering up, probably for the relative of a partner. Find the link and the solution should be obvious._  
230911 23:45 Ok  
240911 01:44 Ok. I've had too much whiskey again, and I'm going to regret this in the morning but what the hell is this all about?  
240911 02:19 Don't know why I bother. You won't answer

 

 _041011 22:57 If there's a purple hat in the banker's loft, arrest him._  
041011 23:03 Under the violently coloured headgear legislation presumably. Can I have a little more to go on?  
 _041011 23:06 More of the case or the chatter?_  
041011 23:15 You know everything. You tell me  
 _041011 23:20 The purple hat was for the banker's role in the local theatre group's performance of Madeleine four years ago. He used an alias, so he didn't appear on their literature. Victim also starred; that's your connection._  
 _041011 23:22 Too busy for chatter tonight._  
041011 23:24 Thank you. I'll order a search in the morning. Have a productive night  
 _041011 23:25 I intend to._

 

111011 21:50 Did you see the article in the Mail? Salacious details, and that hat!  
111011 23:19 Come on, Sherlock. Where's your sense of humour? My copy's pinned on the section's noticeboard!  
 _111011 23:21 Do you have anything significant to say this evening, Inspector?_  
111011 23:23 No  
111011 23:25 Yes, actually I do. Don't be so tight bloody arsed. It was funny. It's not like you can't. I've seen you laughing. You and John  
 _111011 23:28 Has it occurred to you that he might be amusing and you might not?_  
121011 00:40 Yeah I get the message God knows I'd be insane to expect anythign else I don't evne know if that's what you mean  
 _121011 00:42 Four glasses of whiskey seem to have rendered you incoherent Lestrade._  
121011 00:45 YEs well maybe thats your fault with your bloody comments and anonymous account. What the hell am i menat to think?  
 _121011 00:47 I don't believe that you are meant to think anything, though it would be a pleasant surprise if you tried for once._  
121011 00:50 So bloody well tell me then  
121011 01:12 NNOsurprise there. I'm going tobed

 

 _141011 22:04 I need a copy of your records for Ian Brierley W12 4EQ_  
141011 22:30 Just like that?  
 _141011 22:31 Now would be useful but it will wait until morning if it must._  
141011 22:33 Yes. Fine. I'm just your glorified bloody secretary, after all  
 _141011 22:35 You usually get rather further into the conversation before taking offence. Have you been drinking heavily again?_  
141011 22:36 Don't you know?  
 _141011 22:37 I am not omniscient. Data is not always available._  
141011 22:40 That's a relief. I was beginning to think you'd got this place bugged. To answer your question, no I have not been drinking. I am just fed up of being jerked around  
 _141011 22:41 Meaning, precisely?_  
141011 22:46 Meaning you. Half the time you claim to be trying to tell me something that I'm too stupid to understand, and the other half you're just after bloody files! I get an email alert and I don't know what I'm going to read. You looked straight through me today, again. Like nothing was there. And God knows I'd got used to it but now I don't know what you're playing at and I'm not happy. OK?  
 _141011 22:48 That was an unexpectedly pertinent response. You should stay sober more often._  
141011 22:49 Pertinent? Is that it?  
 _141011 23:01 File by 08:45 please._

 _151011 22:03 Still waiting for Brierley file._   
_151011 22:30 I'll send John around tomorrow._

 _171011 22:05 Interview the teacher again. Ask her about her holiday. Courier me the recording. I'm too busy to come in._

 _181011 22:02 I presume that you can see the significance of the interview. Why no arrest?_  
 _181011 23:56 This is both boring and unproductive, Lestrade. You need my help, obviously._  
191011 00:01 The price is too high. Go play private detective somewhere else  
 _191011 00:03 You are letting your emotions get in the way of your work._  
191011 00:05 No, I'm keeping them out of it. Stop harrassing me, Sherlock. You want to help on cases, come over to the station to do it. I'm not going to talk to you here any more

 _211011 22:31 Assistance is not harrassment._

 _221011 22:01 Your stance is illogical._

 _231011 22:12 I came over to the station. You were out._  
231011 22:34 Management meeting. Sorry about that. Was there anything in particular you wanted?  
 _231011 22:36 I was passing._  
231011 22:37 A social call, then?  
 _231011 22:38 Why would I make a 'social call'?_  
231011 22:40 I don't know, Sherlock. Maybe you wanted to say sorry?  
 _231011 22:41 Highly unlikely._  
231011 22:42 Well, since you didn't, I'm going to go away again  
 _231011 22:43 Petty._

 _251011 22:00 Satisfied now?_  
251011 22:02 That was almost gracious. John nearly had a fit  
 _251011 22:03 Don't expect it to happen again._  
251011 22:05 Lightning never strikes twice in the same place  
 _251011 22:06 The analogy is poor. It frequently does. I take it that you're going to stop sulking now._  
251011 22:07 I wasn't sulking. You confuse me, Sherlock. It's not helpful  
 _251011 22:08 It's not intentional. Hardly my field of expertise_  
251011 22:10 No, I do know that. But it really would be helpful if you could decide whether you're flirting with me or not.  
 _261011 00:41 Yes._  
261011 00:42 Yes you've decided?  
 _261011 00:43 I checked with John and yes apparently I am._  
261011 00:45 OK. In that case, dinner tomorrow?  
 _261011 00:46 Why is that necessary?_  
261011 00:48 It isn't necessary. It's an invitation.  
 _261011 00:50 I'm far too busy tomorrow to waste time on this._  
261011 00:51 OK. Fine. Goodnight

 _281011 20:15 I am no longer busy. Angelo's. Fifteen minutes._  
281011 20:16 OK

 _291011 22:02 File for Vanguard Fisheries please._  
291011 22:04 If you'd told me earlier I could have picked it up  
 _291011 22:05 You can pick it up on your way over._  
291011 22:06 I'm coming over, am I?  
 _291011 22:07 Yes._  
291011 22:08 Yeah, OK. See you in 30 xxx  
 _291011 22:09 Don't do that._  
291011 22:10 What, this xxx  
 _291011 22:10 Yes. Don't._  
291011 22:11 :-)) On my way


End file.
